Average Jane

Average Jane and the Nameless Stray Cat

One day over the summer, I had a strong feeling that the Cat Distribution System had me in its sights. I found myself watching the sides of the road carefully as I drove, but no kittens appeared. That evening, I mowed my lawn and when I went to put the mower in the shed, there was a small black cat sitting calmly next to it.

I assumed she had discovered the spot where I sometimes throw food waste over the fence for the raccoons and possums, so I went in and got her a bowl of kibble. She ate eagerly and even let me pet her, although she was pretty quick to swipe at me with her claws extended.

This was obviously my assigned cat.

I decided to lure her into the basement with canned food. I'd been seeing another cat her size in the yard, and I feel strongly about trapping feral cats to get them spayed and neutered to keep those numbers from ballooning.

Within the next few weeks, she stayed in the basement except when she went to be vaccinated and spayed. The vet estimated her age at around 8 months, which was older than I would have assumed. She's quite tiny except that she's getting a bit of a tummy from having food available on demand.

At one point she bit my hand and I had to take two different antibiotics for a week. But she got used to being handled, healed quickly from her surgery, and met the dog with good results. Then it was time to start introducing her to the other cats.

That...isn't going well. I say that in the present tense because we've been at it for many weeks now and she still wakes up and chooses violence every day. She has clearly decided, much like the Highlander, that there can be only one cat. And it should be her. Unfortunately, the other three cats disagree.

Our current tactic is to put her in her cat condo cage in the middle of the living room for an hour or so every day to let the other cats interact with her without getting a beatdown. Yes, she will go after even the largest cat we have and corner him wherever he goes.

We haven't given up, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been trying to find someone else to take her. I mean, she's already spayed, vaccinated and dewormed and she probably won't bite you. What's not to like?

The best evidence that she may not end up staying is the fact that we haven't been able to get a name to stick. The vet has her listed as TBD and one of her temporary names is on her spay paperwork, but I have a feeling she may end up somewhere else unless she can tone down the attitude and make friends. I guess we'll see what happens!

 

Average Jane's Old-Ass House

Last year, I got a phone call from my next-door neighbor whose yard is sufficiently uphill from mine that she can see parts of my roof that aren't visible from my own yard. She had noticed that a big section of shingles on my garage roof had blown loose, probably during the high winds we'd had earlier in the week.

You might think that would warrant some financial assistance from our homeowners' insurance policy, especially on a nearly 20-year-old roof, but you'd think wrong. They only offered to pay for some minor repairs that, quelle surprise, would cost less than our deductible.

By the time this all ground through the system, numerous people had tromped all over the roof circling hail damage with chalk and generally agreeing that it was not in great shape overall.

So, I decided it was as good a time as any for a new roof.

However...

I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of deferred maintenance. My house had become its poster child. And one of the biggest problems that needed to be solved before any other work could proceed was the removal of a truly monstrous amount of overgrown ivy that had crept from the side of the garage around to the front and up onto the roof. No work could proceed on the roof before we had it all taken down.

I have a long history of thinking, "I need to do something about that" in regard to home and garden issues and I reliably let them get so bad that I eventually have no choice but to act. I already knew that the ivy had physically yanked the gutter off the side of the garage and was damaging the siding.

My regular shrubbery guy wouldn't take the ivy removal job because he encountered one of the rat snakes that lived in the ivy while I was explaining what we needed, so I found someone else to take on the challenge. They stripped it all off the building and I cut the ivy stumps below ground with my Sawzall and poisoned them.

Of course, once the ivy was gone, the house needed to be painted to repair the damage and of course we needed a new gutter to replace the one that came down along with the ivy. I briefly considered siding, but the cost was absurdly high and I also hate the way it looks, so nevermind.

But before we could paint, there was another problem to be addressed. One of the garage walls had obvious water damage (and, it turned out, termite damage) that had caused it to bow outward. The door that people use to go in and out hadn't closed properly in years. If we were going to repaint, it made sense to get it rebuilt with cinderblock footings so it could withstand heavy rains without further damage.

Finally, we ended up with:

• A new roof
• A rebuilt garage wall (which cost little enough that I was mad I hadn't done it sooner)
• New guttering on the side of the garage
• A gorgeous dark grey paint job with white trim 

and while I was at it, I went ahead and got:

• New garage doors.

It all cost eleventy-bazillion dollars, half of which I borrowed. But the house looks amazing. No regrets there.

Except that stuff inside the house keeps going bad now. Specifically plumbing.

Since last summer we have replaced a toilet, had a sump pump installed in the basement at tremendous expense, and now the drains under our kitchen sink all need to be redone. I had the plumber out to look at it on Monday, hoping that the repair cost would be in the realm of what I could scrounge up a week before payday. But no, it was about twice that. So I literally have to wait until next Monday to get it repaired.

In the meantime, my sink is out of commission and I've gotten out the drain plugs and caution tape to remind myself and the spouse not to pour anything in there.

Considering that we've lived here for 29 years, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that there are a lot of things that need to be repaired. Heck, we also have caution tape on one of the two sink faucets in the main bathroom because it broke and I'll obviously want to replace both faucets at once...whenever we get to it.

I know this is all just one of the frustrations of home ownership. And I guess it's outweighed by having a house that gets more and more to my liking with every passing year. (She said, averting her eyes from the living room ceiling that needs to be redone, the damaged plaster on the hallway wall, and the hardwood floors that could stand to be refinished.)

But did I mention that the house looks great from the outside now?