Average Jane's Complicated Cat Situation

I know. If you hate the cat posts, you can skip this one.

We've now had Trillian for almost four months and we've learned the hard way that we can't let Xena interact with her at all. On the few occasions when Xena has gotten loose, she's swiftly hunted down the kitten and we've had to run to the source of the shrieking to rescue her.

Trillian's timidity is part of the problem. She runs from Xena and freaks out when she gets close, so it makes Xena think she's onto something with her attack mode. It doesn't help that Trillian is half Xena's size or maybe even smaller than that. It's just bad all the way around.

Thus, we do daily prisoner exchanges between our bedroom and the rest of the house. Trillian sleeps with me all night and when I get up, I put Xena in the bedroom with my husband and let Trillian run free with the other cats. The peripheral cat characters in this drama, Velvet and Velcro, get along with anyone. In fact, Velvet loves to play with either Trillian or Xena.

Trillian really loves to hang out in the recording studio with us. I think it's because it's the only part of the house where she knows Xena never goes.

I've never had this problem introducing a cat before and I don't know where to go from here. I've tried Feliway. I've tried putting Trillian (or Xena) in a crate in the middle of the living room so they can get used to each other. Nothing has made a difference.

This cat situation is also costly. I have to maintain a separate cat box in our bedroom (yuck). We're planning a trip to Nashville this spring and I think were going to end up boarding either Xena or Trillian so that we don't have to make our cat-sitter risk an incident between the two of them. (We'll also have to board Velcro because she gets twice-daily pills.)

The whole problem is so annoying that if I weren't so level-headed, I'd be tempted to seek out a "cat whisperer" to tell Xena not to be such a beyotch. As it is, I guess I'll have to be patient and hope that Xena gets mellower or Trillian gets braver over time.

Comments

[Bea]

I'm sorry that Xena doesn't seem to like Trillian.

We were afraid Shayla wasn't going to get along well with Maia because she's never been a social cat. They seem OK now, not very friendly, though, because Shayla likes to sleep and relax, and Maia is a little time bomb.

I hope you get things figured out, and that Trillian stands up to Xena.

[laurie ruettimann]

I have two pieces of advice.

1. Feliway plug-ins in your house. It helps with litter box aversion but it also makes everyone chill the f out. Scrubby and Molly hated one another. Now we have plug-in units and life is a little better. http://catfaeries.com/feliway.html

2. Let them fight it out. This came from my vet. Sometimes our reactions make it worse. Don't run to intercede, don't take sides, and trust that a few battles will allow them to mark their territories and figure out their social ranking.

Good luck!

xo/laurie

[Keith]

Forgive me, but I was sniggering all the way through reading that post. I know I shouldn't, but it does have a funny side.

[zen zone chick]

You already know I side with Laurie on this one: let them work it out. I know if sucks (sort of like letting your baby cry itself to sleep) but it's for the best in the long run.

[logtar]

I don't know about the let them work it out... but I guess it is an option... I mean after they have been in the same house for so long they should be at least tolerant of each others presence. Maybe when the little one gets bigger. Good luck.

[Rita Arens]

We had these problems with our outdoor cats growing up, but they weren't trapped in the same house together, either. Usually we let the big one beat up the little ones a little to establish the pecking order. I don't think you should let Xena eat Trillion or anything, though. Maybe stand by with a hose? I'm so sorry -- this sounds really frustrating.

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