I had the housework talk with my husband a couple of nights ago as I washed pretty much every pot and pan we own. Admittedly, we're both huge slobs. That's why I can manage to dirty a pan and leave it for so long that I can't even remember what I cooked in it. It's also why he can walk by that dirty pan day after day after day and have it remain completely invisible to him. SEP Field technology is alive and well at our house.
I know most couples struggle with balancing housework between them, but I think the problem gets much worse when you're dealing with two messy people. Two neat freaks (or even one) would at least produce better results, if not more harmony.
My husband is just filled with excuses when it comes to helping out around the house. He claims he doesn't know how to run the dishwasher or the washing machine, yet he'd be happy to take the TiVo apart to install a new hard drive. Also, he won't do laundry because there are spiders in the basement (which is true but, I feel, irrelevant, unless you're a big ol' baby).
I suggested to my husband that he start washing the pots and pans now and then. There's nothing about that task that can't be done by a second grader. You fill the sink with water and a little dish soap, put in the pans, utensils, bowls, etc., and scrub them with your choice of a sponge or Golden Fleece. Then you rinse them and put them in the drainer that lives permanently on the right side of the sink. All done!
His suggestion was that perhaps he should start cooking and then I could wash the dishes. That would be a delightful idea if only he knew how to cook anything. Clearly he doesn't even like his own cooking, judging by the fact that he seems to eat at Einstein Bros. every single day.
So, we're back to where we started. Once a week, I clean out the cat boxes, he takes out the trash and I take out the recycling. I do the laundry and dishes when I get around to it. He maintains the computers and other electronic equipment. I do simple plumbing repairs and other minor home improvements. We have a cleaning lady who comes in every other week to handle the floors, bathrooms and dusting.
Thus, the house stays relatively clean, but untidy. It's been that way for about 15 years now; I suppose it's as good a system as we're going to get.