Average Jane

Average Jane Adds a Band Member

A quick perusal of my blog archives shows that I've been involved with my current band project since last May. In that time, I've written the lyrics to seven songs, we've recorded them, and now we're in the process of re-recording them all with higher quality gear in the remodeled studio.

We have been searching for a bass player the entire time with absolutely no luck. In my town, bass players are worth their weight in gold and every online bulletin board is filled with "bass player wanted" ads. Unfortunately, many of the ads placed by available bass players sound a lot like this:

"looking for musicians or a band unlike others i dont give a rats ass about age thats bullshit and i wont deal with pot heads ,tired of wasting my time so many bands looking for bass players but from what i heard they need better singers and guitar players that can play ,man what a bunch of noise arnt there any pro players with good pro gear that want to play music instead of playing at playing?i love the were holding auditions ,what a joke like they got a record deal and are touring,enough of my rant im available to play ,all metal /rock if your not serious please dont waste my time and i wont waste yours yeah my ad is negative but i must have e mailed and talked to a dozen bands and not one has their act together its always somthing..."

Who wouldn't want to play with that highly literate ray of sunshine?

When we got together over the weekend, my husband was lamenting our inability to find a bassist. I pointed out that our delays with the studio remodel might have chased off any bass player that we found earlier and I predicted that now that we were ready, a bass player would probably fall in to our laps.

Sure enough, within a couple of days a friend of ours mentioned that he knew a good heavy metal bass player who was looking for a band. The guy came over last night, liked our stuff, and pretty much joined on the spot. Once we finish our songs and add a few more, choose a name, and bring in a rhythm guitarist, we should be ready to start playing shows no later than early spring.

However, I think I can guarantee that I'll never go on stage looking like this again:

Average Jane Sees Progress

No, the bathroom isn't finished yet, but it's getting much closer. We were supposed to have shower doors by now, but they arrived last week and it turned out that the company had sent ones with clear glass instead of frosted glass. I say mornings are difficult enough without having to glimpse your naked self in the mirror through a clear shower door. The new ones should be here before the end of this week.

The only other thing we're lacking is a mirror above the sink. Oh, and as you can tell from the photo on the right, I still need to paint the baseboards.

I have other photos of the remodel on Flickr here.

What do you think?

Average Jane's Awesome Sister

Last night, my sister came over and did her kick-ass faux painting technique on my bathroom wall (photos to follow soon, I promise) AND brought me two bags of homemade granola.

I'm not worthy.

Average Jane Sings Classic Rock

On Saturday, February 3rd, I've agreed to sing a set or two with a local cover band. We had our first practice last night and, well, I'm glad we'll be practicing again between now and then.

I'm pretty much getting song selections that:
a) I've at least heard before,
b) Are more or less in my range, and
c) Nobody else wants to sing.

Sounds like a great basis for a show, huh?

It's supposed to be sort of an "unplugged" acoustic evening, but there's some contention between one of the guitarists and the bass player about exactly what that's going to entail. As long as I get a microphone, I'm staying out of it.

Actually, I think it's going to be good practice for me. Our recording sessions for the original band are dragging on and I haven't been doing a very good job of staying warmed up and working on singing fundamentals outside of my vocal lessons. This will force me to sing every day as I learn the songs and try to make them listenable.

The original project (which still doesn't have a band name) is starting to sound really good, though. Our new studio is leaps and bounds better than what we had before and it makes a huge difference in the output. As soon as we have a couple of songs ready to share, I'll put them up on my MySpace and invite you all to listen to them. It shouldn't be much longer.

Update:  Uh, nevermind. The cover band decided to work with the existing band members for the gig. Sniff. I know when I'm not wanted. (Just kidding. I'm actually relieved to free up the time for all of the other stuff I have going on.)

Average Jane's Two Cats

My two remaining cats are acting especially needy now that Friday is gone. Our 17-year-old male cat, Kato, wants to remain in contact with a human at all times. When we're sleeping, he's perched on one of us. When I'm using the laptop, he's between my forearms.

Velcro, our female cat, has always been quite clingy (hence the name), but she's added "venturing into empty rooms and howling" to her repertoire.

Poor Kato's health has been uncertain for a number of years and I foresee a day in the relatively near future when Velcro will be the only cat left. The question becomes: should we get another cat now?

I wouldn't want to inflict a kitten on our oldsters (or myself, for that matter), but I think that a suitably mellow adult cat might be acceptable. I know the shelters are full of sweet, grown-up cats that get overlooked in favor of the kittens. I have little doubt that my work with the spay/neuter clinic gives me a direct line to inside information on the temperament of every available shelter cat in town.

And yet, I hesitate. Even though I'm pretty sure both cats would accept a new addition to the household fairly quickly, I worry about stressing them out.

Ultimately, I think it might be best if I just waited to see if fate puts a particular cat in my path. What do you think?

Average Jane Plays in the Snow

On Sunday afternoon, my husband and I took advantage of the previous evening's snowfall and made a quick snowman. You can thank me for the fact that the snowman's maleness was not made glaringly obvious. Let's just say I balked at supplying more than one carrot.

I left for a couple of hours and when I came back, the snowman was leaning lazily against the wall. By the time we put out the trash in the evening, he looked as though he'd been shot. I don't think there will be much left of him by tonight.

Average Jane Says Goodbye

Friday
June 16, 1990 to January 20, 2007
R.I.P.

Labeling Average Jane

I'm intrigued with the idea of participating in the day diary for "This Day in the Life of Working Women." I've never documented an entire day in depth before and I think it would be an interesting exercise. I'm always thinking of little things that would make good blog posts and then forgetting them before I post again. An exhaustive day diary would capture lots of thoughts and activities that would ordinarily breeze by.

I started to fill out the application, but I got stuck on the question, "What labels - positive and negative - do you and society assign to yourself?"

Now there's an interesting exercise all by itself. Here are a few, off the top of my head and in no particular order: wife, friend, writer, blogger, singer, lyricist, musician, yuppie (whether I like it or not), feminist, child-free (or childless, depending on who's doing the labeling), creative (noun), resource, cat person, club president, volunteer, do-gooder, homeowner, taxpayer, tomboy, Generation Xer, thirty-something (but not for long), conservationist, libertarian, omnivore, sister, sister-in-law, daughter, aunt, cousin, niece, step-daughter, employee, procrastinator, crocheter, cook, baker and do-it-yourself-er.

I'm sure I could think of many more if I gave myself more time.

So what do you think, should I participate? Would you?

Average Jane Goes to the Movies

Yes, another stinkin' meme. Until I get off my lazy butt and transfer my remodeling photos from my camera to my computer, I just don't have anything to talk about right now. I lifted this from kerrianne.org.

Movies I've Seen

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) The Neverending Story
(x) Blazing Saddles
(x) Airplane
7

(x) The Princess Bride
(x) Anchorman
(x) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) The Labyrinth
( ) Saw 
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (not the whole thing, but I caught the end on cable)
7+6=13

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
(x) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
(x) American Wedding 
( ) American Pie Band Camp
13+7=20

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4 
(x) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
20+7=27

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
(x) The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original one) 
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect 
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
( ) Robots
27+7=34

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story ("Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.")
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events 
(x) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
(x) Kingpin
(x) Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt
(x) King Kong
34+10=44

( ) A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( )Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2 
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber
44+4=48

(x) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window  
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards
48+6=54

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child’s Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
54+4=58

(x) Bad Boys
(x) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
( ) Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremacy
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
(x) Curious George
58+11=69

(x) Independence Day
(x) Cujo 
(x) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss’s Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
69+8=77

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She’s All That
( ) Calendar Girls
(x) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
( ) The Terminator 3
77+9=86

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2 
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
86+13=99

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
(x) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf’s Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
(x) The 40-Year-Old Virgin
99+3=102

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
102+6=108

(x) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
(x) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) The Devil's Rejects
(x) Elf
(x) Highlander  
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
108+4=112

(x) The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
(x) Monsters Inc.
(x) Titanic
(x) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(x) Shaun Of the Dead 
( ) Willard
112+7=119

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
( ) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 Days Later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
119+1=120

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes
( ) I Spit on Your Grave, a.k.a. the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) The Ghost and the Darkness
120+3=123

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks The Battle For Endor
123+6=129

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions (I finally gave up after the second one)
( ) Animatrix
(x) Evil Dead
(x) Evil Dead 2
(x) Army of Darkness
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal
129+6=135

Just so you know, I don't stand behind the math involved here, so it could be a little off. Still, I obviously see a lot of movies. Also, I refuse to be embarrassed by the extreme awfulness of some of the movies I've seen. You should know that sometimes I actively seek out movies for just that trait.

Is there anything I haven't seen that I should run out and rent right away?

Average Jane's 3-Day Weekend

I had the day off yesterday, which gave me a third day to tackle the hideous mess that had overtaken my house. As of this morning, the living room and kitchen have largely been rescued from the creeping piles of random junk that had collected on every flat surface. The bedroom will be much better as soon as my husband puts away his clean laundry, and I'll tackle my dressing room as soon as the bathroom construction is finished. There's no hope for the guest room right now - it may have to wait until spring.

Yes, we're still in the middle of the bathroom remodeling project. And to think we believed it would be finished in a week or two. Ha ha! The good news is that the contractors have rigged up heavy plastic sheets around the shower so that we may bathe at home. That alone has improved our quality of life immeasurably.

I went and bought a bunch of brushed nickel bathroom accoutrements at Bed, Bath & Beyond yesterday: freestanding toilet paper holder, towel shelf, hand towel ring, toothbrush/toothpaste safe and soap dispenser. I've turned into Will Ferrell's character from Old School, "...we're going to go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond, I don't know, I don't know if we'll have enough time."

Every time we get the house cleaned up, my husband and I vow that we'll never let it get cluttered and messy again. What ridiculously unfounded optimism we have! Still, I plan to enjoy it while it lasts.