Pharmgirl reports that her daughter is starting to repeat bad words she hears from her dad. Apparently Pharmgirl's husband lacks a ready list of substitute curse words upon which he can draw as needed. As a public service, I'm presenting my list of all the kid-friendly expletives I can think of.
- Darn or darnit
- Dang or dangit
- Dagnabit (if you don't mind sounding like Yosemite Sam)
- Horse pucky or horse hockey (bull may be substituted for horse)
- Blast (my grandfather used this one around us a lot, "Oh, blast!")
- Bother (another one from the grandparents)
- Ticked off
I would argue against introducing any F-word variations to the kiddies, but if you're on a roll and you need to halt yourself before the bomb drops, there's always:
- Frickin', Freakin', Friggin' or Flippin' (the last "g" makes them far too formal, I think).
- Effing (but you kind of had to be planning that one)
Then there are the lengthier phrases that you'll feel stupid saying, but may save you if you need them:
- What in the Sam Hill?
- Son of a biscuit (or biscuit-eater)
- Son of a gun
Some truly ridiculous curse word substitutions come into play as dubbed-over dialogue when movies are aired on network television. Carlo says, "Possibly my favorite curse, after translation for TV, comes from Bruce Willis in 'Die Hard' where the TV version, says, 'Yippee Ki Yeah - Kemo Sabe!'"
My all-time favorite was from a Richard Pryor movie where the same oft-used compound word was dubbed repeatedly as "melon picker."
Did I leave anything out? What are your toothless cuss words of choice around the little ones? What are your favorite dubbed substitutions on TV?