Average Jane

Average Jane Turns A Page

It's hard to admit when you've failed at something.  That's probably why it saddened me on Saturday when I filed the last tax return and closed the bank account for a business I'd started less than two years ago.

Looking back, I realize that I'd never really had a good plan - just a couple of clients and the ability to handle projects ranging from copywriting to editing, print layouts, marketing, web content development, etc., etc., etc.  If I'd treated myself as a client, I'd have forced myself to limit the offering to one or two clearly related services.  As it was, I ended up running from one small project to another, never developing a clientele in a particular specialty.

Fortunately, for the last year I've had a job that allows me creative freedom and is also teaching me some of the disciplines I lacked when I was on my own.  I don't miss the uncertainty of entrepreneurship at all.

I snapped out of my little pity party fairly quickly after I rejoined my husband and went to lunch in a nearby town we both really enjoy.  We've had better times and we've had worse times and everything always seems to come out all right in the end.

Average Jane's Happy Place

Ahhh, TGIF.  It's a great time to reflect upon the things that are actually going right in life and leave the stresses behind.  I've been rather wound up this week, but as I approach the week's last workday (I hope!), there's definitely a light at the end of the tunnel that does not appear to be attached to an oncoming high-velocity freight carrier.

Here are five happy things I can think of off the top of my head:

1. My workload isn't seeming quite so daunting now that I've made a comprehensive list.  It's amazing how manageable projects can seem once you stop them from stampeding through your head and corral them onto a piece of paper.
2. Our tax bill isn't as bad as it's been for the last several years.  In fact, I actually have the money to pay it right now without looking around for something to sell.
3. My husband has a gig this weekend with a band that he says is quite good.  In fact, their performance tonight is supposed be broadcast on a local radio station.  It's a country band and thus not my taste in music, but I'm glad he's getting some drumming work again.
4. I'm surrounded by good friends and helpful mentors.  On Wednesday I had a fun group of women over for dinner.  This weekend I have a shopping trip in the works with some friends I seldom see.  Next weekend, some of the past presidents of my community service organization have invited me to an informal leadership training session.
5. My new nephew will be born next week!  I can't wait to see him and finally find out his name.  (My sister and brother-in-law are wisely keeping their name choice to themselves until it's a fait accompli, to shut down anyone with the ill grace to offer their opinion on the chosen name.)

Far be it from me to veer toward feeding anyone's soul with hot broth and noodles, but feel free to share some of the things that are making you happy right now.  It may sound cheesy, but I think it's good to make the "happy list" now and then, if only to remind yourself that the stress-y things are more fleeting than they sometimes seem.

No Rest for Average Jane

Man, I'm busy right now!  Yesterday I made a to-do list of my projects at work and I came up with about 10 things without even trying very hard.  They're all due before the end of next week.

Speaking of the end of next week, my community service organization is having a luncheon a week from Saturday.  My committee is in charge of it and I'm pretty close to having a handle on everything, but not quite close enough.  I need to take an award certificate to the frame shop yesterday.  Sigh.

Then there's a big old batch of stuff my dad needs me to do for his company.  I meant to spend some time at his office over the weekend, but I didn't feel very well and ended up taking a lot of naps instead.  I have a feeling I'll find myself agreeing to swing by tonight - after a 9+ hour workday.

Other than all that, there are bills to pay, tax issues to finalize and home improvement projects to address.  I'm a busy bee who could use a whole hive of bees to get everything done.

All I can do is force myself to work on one thing at a time and cross them off the list as I finish.  Focus is key, and unfortunately that's a problem area for me.  Fortunately I thrive on deadlines, so I imagine it'll all work out as long as I can find time to just sit down and get things done.  Wish me luck!

Teaching An Average Jane New Tricks

There are three skills I've always wanted to learn:  juggling, making balloon animals and playing the harmonica.  Save your jokes - this is not leading to anything that involves scary white face paint or big shoes.  However, any of these things would probably score me some major Aunt Points with my niece and nephews.

Anyway, I've decided that it's time to start working my way through the list, beginning with juggling.  Apparently it's easiest to begin with scarves and work your way up to more challenging items.  I won't have time to practice in earnest until this weekend, but I have confidence that I'll be able to grasp the basics fairly quickly if I'm willing to put in enough time.

I can't predict when I'll attempt the other skills, but it seems reasonable to move on to the balloon animals next.  There are plenty of websites with basic instructions, so all I'll need is a bag of balloons, a cheap balloon pump and the ability to keep from flinching every time a balloon pops unexpectedly (which I understand will happen a lot).

After that, I suppose it'll be time to try to learn some basic harmonica.  If I get even halfway good at it, it could expand our band's repertoire.  If I get less than halfway good at it, maybe I can get my bandmates to bribe me not to play.  There's always an angle...

I don't think I've learned a new manual skill since my great-aunt taught me to crochet when I was twelve.  I predict that it'll be good for me to develop a collection of new avocations.  It'll keep the old brain active, the creaky limbs moving, etc.

What have you always wanted to learn?  Do you think this might be a good time to start?  Average Jane readers want to know!

Average Jane Dreams About Blogging

I just woke up after dreaming that I worked at Sears* and the store manager had just awarded me 10 winter jackets.  I had the idea that the prize had something to do with my blog, but really I couldn't figure out why I was being honored (or why it was in such a weird way).

I'm still a little out of it, I'm pressed for time and I can't really think of anything to write about, so consider this my weekly placeholder blog entry and I'll try to come up with something better tomorrow.

*Uninteresting Factoid:  I really did work at Sears once - almost the entire time I was in college.

Average Jane Disapproves

With full awareness that it's going to make me sound OLD and out of touch, I must weigh in on the latest trend of wearing pajama bottoms out in public:  it looks really stupid.  I'm sure the people who are out and about dressed in brightly patterned flannel think, "I'm comfortable and fashionable."

I have some news for you:  you look like you've escaped from a long-term, in-patient care facility.  Or maybe as though you were on your way to a slumber party and your car broke down and - oops! how embarrassing! - you ended up on the street in your PJs.

Take it from someone who lived through the Zubaz fad, weird pants are always a fashion no-no.  Ask anyone with a pair of M.C. Hammer pants in his closet.  I thought we'd made good progress in the past few years on the "sweats should only be worn to, from and at the gym" issue, and now there's a whole new category of ugly, baggy, unflattering pants creeping into the public eye.

People, the next time you're considering leaving the house in your pajamas, take a good look at yourself in the mirror.  Your outfit is missing something...some accessory.  When you realize that the most appropriate accessory would be a teddy bear or a well-worn blanket, head back to your closet and put on some jeans.  For everyone's sake.

Average Jane's Vocabulary Word

I'd like to make a case for the increased use of the adjective "cross" in place of "cranky," "crabby," "grouchy," etc.   According to Dictionary.com, the usage I have in mind is defined as, "Showing ill humor; annoyed."

There's something about the word "cross" in that context that perfectly sums up the feeling of being out of patience, stressed out and disinclined toward the full range of behavioral niceties.

Just for the record, I'm not feeling cross today at all - at least not right now.  How about you?

Average Jane's Shopping List

Thanks to BoingBoing.net, I've finally located a home decor accessory I've needed all my life.  I shared the link at work and we're considering buying one for the office to place behind the reception desk.  Although the customer review is a little discouraging, I think it's still one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

After last week's paean to Silly Putty, a reader named Jim pointed me to the arguably superior Thinking Putty.  I haven't ordered any yet, but that's only because I can't decide on a color.

Crazy Aaron's Puttyworld led to another fascinating yet sort of scary science toy, neodymium magnets from Gaussboys.  (They deserve my business for their name alone.)  You may not have realized a need to suspend an anvil from the metal support beam in your garage, but after you visit this site, you'll have all kinds of new ideas.

Now it's your turn.  Tell me what weird, wonderful things you've found for sale online that I might need to own. 

Average Jane Looks Back on the Bubble

Yesterday I was visited by the Ghost of Dotcom Bubbles Past.  It took the form of a letter from the parent company of a dotcom startup that employed me briefly in 1999 and 2000.  I was going to paraphrase it, but I think you'll appreciate it best if I just reproduce most of it verbatim, with names changed to protect the disorganized and wasteful:

Dear Average Jane:

As a result of a review of our outstanding amounts and supporting records, you may be the owner of funds held by GIANT, FAILING PUBLISHING CORPORATION (formerly doing business as Smaller, But Equally Poorly Run Publishing Corp.)

Please note that no additional information is available with regard to this amount.  If you cannot verify the amount provided, and your records show that no amounts are due from GFPC, please check the corresponding box below.  Upon receipt and verification of your request we will process any indicated refund.

Date of check:  November 16, 1999
Amount:  $573.02

__ No, I have not cashed the check referenced above and would like the check reissued.
__ I cannot verify the details associated with this amount, but to the best of my knowledge there are no outstanding amounts due from GFPC.
__ Yes, I previously received the amount from GFPC and no additional amounts are due.

Wow, how random.  I think I'll have to go with answer #2, because if I thought I'd been owed $573.02 for the past five years, I wouldn't have waited for them to review their Post-It note collection and get back to me. 

It will not surprise you to learn that this same company continued to deposit my former boss' regular pay into her bank account for months and months after she resigned, despite the fact that she repeatedly notifed them of their error.  They also kept my health insurance active for many months after I resigned, but I didn't realize it until it was too late to take advantage of the extra months' worth of $5 prescriptions.  D'oh!

The last time I thought about GFPC was the summer before last when I rented a car in New Hampshire.  The rental car company rattled off an address I barely recognized and asked if it were mine.  When they mentioned a corporate discount rate, I realized it was the address of GFPC headquarters.  All those years ago, I traveled a lot on business and my credit card number became linked to GFPC's rental car discount card.  I still use the same credit card, so as far as the rental car company is concerned, I'm still eligible for the discount.

It's not $573.02, but I'll take it as long as it lasts.

Average Jane, Ahead of Schedule

I cannot tell you how triumphant I feel to have already taken my tax paperwork to my accountant.  I don't even care whether I owe money or get a refund - the important thing is that I don't have the whole process looming over me anymore.  I have broken the cycle of procrastination!

That's not to say that I don't wear the scarlet "P" in other contexts.  Laundry procrastination alone is a source of daily frustration and a seemingly endless series of egregious fashion "don't"s.  I'm taking this organization thing one day at a time...

While I was gathering my receipts, bank statements and other tax-related information, I had a difficult time locating my business bank statements from the first several months of the year.  It turned out that I'd carefully filed them when I was organizing the previous year's tax information.  That's right, I couldn't find them because they were exactly where they should have been.  How sad is that? 

Fortunately the rest of the year's bank statements were predictably scattered like Easter eggs throughout the piles of paper on my desk and in the boxes of mail next to my desk.  I found 'em all, too, so that must mean the system works.