Well! My casual threat last week to consign the Sea-Monkeys to the local sewer system met with more outrage than I could have imagined. Of course I was kidding. That's the best thing about godlike powers over the lives of others: you don't have to exercise them to appreciate them.
Even without any malign influence from me, my Sea-Monkey population continues to dwindle. I am down to three females and two males. There are still a few babies clinging valiantly to life, but I try not to get my hopes up about them anymore. I put some more Sea-Monkey Medicine in the tank this week but, as you know, I have little faith in it.
There is a new threat to the blissful Ocean-Zoo community this week: a swarm of carpenter ants. Every afternoon hundreds of winged ants find their way in around the window frame and seethe over every inch of my windowsill. My great fear is that one will get into the tank through one of the ventilation holes and drown in the water, poisoning the Sea-Monkeys with formic acid in the process. Keep in mind that I also have a persistent fear that one day I will be ironing and drop the iron on my bare foot. It's never happened, but you never know…
Anyway, the cure to the ant problem is to bring in an exterminator, but I'm not sure what effect bug poison will have on the Sea-Monkeys, who are bug-like in the extreme. I may have to take them on a little field trip outside the office when the bug man comes. I hesitate to take them home, though, since at least one of my cats enjoys tipping over anything filled with water. I don't want her to have a nice shrimp-flavored beverage at my Sea-Monkeys' expense.
So that's the drama-filled life of my Sea-Monkeys this week. Right now they are doing the Sea-Monkey Somersaults of Joy, no doubt to thank all of you for your continued interest in their interchangeable well-being.