My mother died in 1998, so time has smoothed the sharp edges off the pangs of sadness I used to feel every year when I'd start getting email suggesting where I should take my mother for Mother's Day or what kind of gift she would want. Still, this time of year makes me wistful because of all of the hype around a holiday that has nothing to do with me at all.
Mother's Day advertising is everywhere right now, which may be why I had a dream about my mother last night. I dreamt that I was on a shuttle bus going to meet her at a hotel in another city so we could have a vacation together. The problem was, I didn't know which hotel it was and I kept wracking my brain to think of her cell phone number, but I couldn't come up with it.
When I woke up, it occurred to me that of course I didn't know my mom's cell phone number. She never had a cell phone when she was alive.
I'm happy that there's a holiday to honor mothers even though I'm not one. I'll probably spend it playing with my kid subsitutes, a.k.a. our cats and dog. Maybe I'll score a flower or a little box of candy if I go out to eat someplace where they have a scattershot Mother's Day to-do that includes every woman who looks like she could possibly be a mom. That's pretty much all I can do.